All of my life, I’ve heard the line, “Pornography is a man’s issue.”
Apparently, it’s partially true. Any men’s minister will tell you that the two greatest areas that men struggle with are pornography and anger issues. Whenever I attend a men’s conference, there is always a special session designed to help men break free from this trap. (I know, because whenever I help my brother advertise Mantour Ministries at a convention, I’m always asked to leave to room so they can talk about this ‘guy’s issue.’)
Sometimes I wonder why women don’t have this same session at their conventions. Do we seriously believe that pornography is only a male issue?
I don’t think so.
If we were going to be honest, we’d admit that American women are just as addicted to pornography as men. Our porn just comes in nicer packaging.
It’s disguised in romance novels, magazine covers, advertisements, and romantic movies. We’ve even got our own television networks, “T.V. for women” where you can watch a hot sex scene anytime you want.
Oh, c’mon, Adessa, that’s not pornography---that just entertainment.
Really? Well, again, I beg to differ.
You see, I was raised with a very clear definition of pornography. When I was in high school, our pastor’s wife, a very modern, attractive, sophisticated, godly woman taught us that whenever you watch a man and a woman in bed together, it is pornography.
I can just hear the cries of outrage now. “That’s too extreme!”
Well, not really according to Biblical standards.
In fact, according to Biblical standards, we are supposed to be avoiding anything that isn’t innocent, chaste, modest, or morally pure.
Philippians 4:8 says, “Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.”
“Whatever is pure”
In this Scripture, the word “Pure” comes from the Greek word “hagnos” which means “clean, that is, innocent, modest, perfect---chaste, clean, pure.” It means moral purity of thought and purpose as well as words and deeds.
Barnes defines it as “Chaste - in thought, in feeling, and in the conversation between the sexes.”
Let’s take a closer look at what those words mean:
Chaste means “abstaining from extramarital, or from all, sexual intercourse. Not having any sexual nature or intention.”
Modest means “regard for decency of behavior, speech, dress, etc. Propriety in dress, speech, or conduct. Designed to prevent inadvertent exposure of part of the body ”
Innocent means “free from guilt or sin especially through lack of knowledge of evil. Uncorrupted by evil, malice, or wrongdoing; sinless”
Let’s look at another word: Pornography. That word means: “the depiction of erotic behavior (as in pictures or writing) intended to cause sexual excitement. Material (as books or a photograph) that depicts erotic behavior and is intended to cause sexual excitement.”
Looking at these words, I think it’s pretty simple to conclude that:
--Anytime you’re reading about or watching a couple have sexual intercourse, you are focusing on pornography.
--If you’re watching a couple undress themselves or each other, you’re focusing on pornography.
--Whenever people are naked or mostly undressed, it’s pornography.
--Whenever there is course innuendo or heavily sexual content, it’s pornographic.
It doesn’t matter if it’s reading material, television, movies, or music.
If it isn’t pure, we shouldn’t be thinking on these things.
Perhaps right about now, you’re thinking, “This is crazy! You are making too big a deal about this and being too legalistic. It’s entertainment, what’s the harm?”
And there we have it! This is the mind game that Satan plays with Christians to get them to compromise with sin. Just like He did with Eve in the Garden, he tries to get us to believe the lie that there is no danger. In fact, acting like sex is a “forbidden fruit” that is meant to be kept private between married people is actually depriving you of something.
However, just like he was trying to destroy Eve in the Garden of Eden, he is trying to get you to compromise to destroy you!
There’s no doubt about it---focusing your mind on sexual images will destroy a woman just like hard core pornography destroys men.
For single women, it stirs up desires that cannot be fulfilled without violating God’s commands. This leads women to either compromise and enter a sexual relationship without being married or settle for anyone just to marry someone and fulfill their sexual desires.
Don’t think that these images are only dangerous for single women. That’s just another mind game that Satan tries to play with God’s daughters.
The truth is that these images of hot, lustful, romantic sex with people with perfect physiques, endless sex appeal, and unlimited time, energy and money create false expectations that are impossible for any normal person to fulfill. Just like no woman can ever live up to the expectations developed inside of a man after he looks at pornography, so no husband can ever compete with the images of the suave, debonair, eye-candy that women watch in movies and read about in novels. When the expectations aren’t fulfilled, the disappointment causes problems in the marriage. Suddenly, the beautiful gift that God gave His children of marital intimacy seems insufficient compared to the images that Hollywood portrays.
Here’s another big reason to avoid female pornography and all forms of entertainment that aren’t pure: it’s addictive!
Don’t kid yourself. These types of entertainment are every bit as addictive for women as hard core porn is for men. The more you watch or read, the more you’ll want to watch or read. After awhile, you’ll want the details to be more and more graphic until eventually you’ll be addicted to hard core pornography. This is dangerous stuff that you don’t want to play with!
Ladies, it’s time that we recognized these forms of entertainment for what they really are---porn for women. It’s time that we are as disgusted by them as we are by any other form of pornography. Most importantly, it’s time that we stopped playing with fire and realize how dangerous these images are to our own minds and souls. It’s time we make the choice that we are going to focus on things that are pure.
For me, that means that I don’t read romance novels at all---not even Christian romance novels, which in my opinion sometimes are a little too suggestive and don’t stay within the boundaries of what it means to be pure.
Personally, I do not go to the movie theatre, and I set the parental controls on my television to only allow me to watch PG rated content. Whenever someone is undressed or a sex scene comes on, I change the channel. Focusing on things that are pure means that I don’t look at pictures of half-naked or naked men, or even participate in the common practice of women ogling men.
It’s funny, a few weeks ago, a friend of mine put up a picture of her adult son on Facebook. Full disclosure---he was a very good looking man. Still, I couldn’t believe the comments that women made!
Then my brother made a post that said, “If a guy would have made these comments about a woman, we’d be crucified as pigs!”
Honestly ladies, why do we think it’s okay for us to behave in a way that we’d be appalled at in men? The truth is: If you’d be offended if a man said it about a woman, then you have NO business saying it as a daughter of God.
These are just some of the standards that I’ve had to apply to my own life in order to keep my commitment to focus on things that are pure in a world that is completely focused on impurity. In the end, it’s more important to me to obey God’s principles and focus on things that are pure than to enjoy the pleasures of sin for a season.
The other reason that I am so committed to focusing on what is pure is because when I was younger, I believed the mind game that Satan plays that reading these kinds of books, watching these types of movies and television, and even listening to sensual music was no big deal. When I went to college and could watch whatever I wanted without my Mom’s rules, I tried being like everybody else.
I saw the affect that it had on my soul and my emotions. It was like drinking poison---it was making me spiritually and emotionally sick. It wasn’t until I repented of focusing on things that were impure and chose to stop filling my mind with these images that I began feeling spiritually and emotionally healthy again.
Then, instead of feeling depressed over the relationship I wasn’t in, I was able to find joy in the life that I had. Once again, I wasn’t looking at men as sexual images, but as brothers in Christ. I even started feeling better about myself when I wasn’t constantly comparing myself to the sexy seductresses on television.
What I learned that there truly is freedom in focusing on what is pure and absolutely NOTHING but bondage when you focus on the impure. Believing anything else is just falling into the traps of one of Satan’s mind games. That’s not God’s will for His daughters. That’s why He gives us Scriptures like Philippians 4:8 that tell us where we should focus our attention.
“Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.”
To Continue Studying Philippians 4:8 and learn how to overcome Satan's Mind Games, Check Out Our Free E-Book, Mind Games.