I was thinking of the word cynical and what it means.
Webster's Dictionary defines the word as distrustful of human nature, doubting or contemptuous of human nature or the motives, goodness, or sincerity of others.
Why was I thinking of that word you might ask? Well, I was doing some soul searching and asking God to search my heart and show me if there was any wickedness in there, anything that didn't line up with the Word of God in my life. I had been talking with a young Christian girl, she is embarking on a new journey in her life, graduating and so full of excitement and zest for the LORD, trusting God to lead her on the next path of her journey, excited about college, excited about mission work...so that was how my thinking turned to the word "cynical". I was wondering if I become cynical because of the trials that have happened in my life.
I thought back to the joy I felt at the beginning of my journey walking with God---how as a young 19 year old I was going to change the world, love God and serve Him!! Never realizing the harsh reality of life sometimes - disappointments that happen along the way, getting my eyes off of the LORD and onto the waves so to speak, looking at the troubles instead of resting in His promises.
God's Word is true and the Holy Spirit does teach us and remind us if we take the time to listen. I had to admit, Yes LORD, I had become a little cynical, wanting the people who have hurt me to be punished in some way, but in reality I was hurting myself.
The truth of the matter is I don't want to be mean-spirited or cynical. I want to have that same zest for serving the LORD no matter what my age. To rest in His promises, to trust in His Word, to know that HE will never leave me or forsake me, knowing that listening to His voice, letting His love heal my heart and renew a right spirit inside my heart is what matters most.
To look to HIM the Author and Finisher of my faith and to live Hebrews 12:1-3 "Therefore, since we have so great a cloud of witnesses surrounding us, let us also lay aside every encumbrance and the sin which so easily entangles us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. For consider Him who has endured such hostility by sinners against Himself, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart."
I want that Scripture to be living large in my heart, I don't want to be weary and lose heart, I want to live a grateful life for all that Christ has done for me!
If you are struggling with hurts and heartaches in your life - I encourage you spend time with God, allow the Holy Spirit to speak to your heart - Let the God of all Comforts comfort you and change you from the inside out!!
Dorothy Jean Abbey, was born May 19, 1955 and grew up in Western New York. She married James Rugg in 1974. In 1989, her husband became an ordained pastor with the Assemblies of God. Dorothy ministered along side of her husband from the beginning, serving as her husband's secretary, teaching Sunday School, working in the nursery and making the most of every opportunity to preach the Word. In 2013, Dorothy became an ordained minister and currently serves as her church's Administrative pastor and a lay chaplain at our local hospital. She loves writing devotions and has had articles published in the Daily Boost, Pentecostal magazine, and one article was used in the Sunday School curriculum of Gospel Publishing House. Dorothy is the proud mother of three beautiful daughters, two wonderful son-in-laws and four precious grandchildren. She says, "I love the Lord with all my heart and I try to live for His glory, I love to encourage people in their walk with the LORD. I am thankful for God redeeming me and giving me new life in HIM!!"