“When is it going to be my turn?”
It’s the loudest unspoken question by single women at every friend’s wedding, baby shower, house warming party and anniversary celebration around the country.
Looking back to my teens and twenties, I’d be lying if I didn’t admit that I was among the crowd asking it all too often.
It’s a legitimate question. For the Christian woman who wants to be a wife and mother but feels like God is taking too long to bring Mr. Right, there’s a natural tendency to think “Have I been forgotten? What about me?”
Like I said, been there done that.
However, as time as passed and I’ve grown older, I find myself asking the question less and less—in fact, almost never. The reason is that over the years I’ve trained myself to develop two attitudes that have helped me find peace in the lack of an answer to “When”. (Because in case you haven’t figured it out yet, no matter how often you ask the question “When”, it isn’t going to change God’s timetable or God’s plan.)
So rather than constantly throwing fits and emotional “Are we there yet” temper tantrums, these are the two attitudes that have helped me find peace.
#1 You need to choose to wait on the Lord.
Yes, I know “waiting” isn’t anyone’s favorite word. (I mean isn’t a frustration with waiting the reason we’re asking the question in the first place.)
Yet, I have learned that how you wait makes all the difference.
There’s a Scripture in Psalm 131:2 that says,
“I’ve kept my feet on the ground, I’ve cultivated a quiet heart. Like a baby content in its mother’s arms, my soul is a baby content.”
Over the years, I have learned that this is the key to waiting on God:
There is tremendous peace and even joy when you stop fussing, stop being angry, stop feeling cheated and throwing temper tantrums because God isn’t doing things your way in your time and simply quiet yourself.
Like a child who grows tired crying in her mother’s arms eventually just snuggles up and falls asleep, we need to come to the point where we end the struggle and just rest in our Heavenly Father’s arms.
We need to snuggle in close to Him knowing that He has our best interests at heart and in His way and His time He will provide all that we need. In the meantime, He is loving us, protecting us, and providing all that we need to get through today.
When we teach our souls to find that rest, we can find peace and contentment.
Granted, this is something we will have to “teach” our hearts to do. It won’t come naturally. Still, as we choose to calm our fears by spend time with Jesus and standing on the promises in His Word. As we get to know Him as a loving Father Who only does what is best for us---as we train ourselves to choose calm and trust rather than anger and impatience, resting in God will become our default setting. Our norm rather than a rarity.
#2 Stop Waiting
I know, it sounds like a contradiction to the first point, but it isn’t.
Instead, it complements the first point and helps us as we rest in God’s timetable.
Here goes: the truth is that you were created for so much more than just sitting around waiting for a husband.
You were not created to be a lady in waiting---you are called right now to prosper and thrive enjoying your life as a single woman.
Philippians 4:11 says, “I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances.”
Whatever season of life you find yourself in today is the day to enjoy it and make the most of it. Don’t waste your season of singleness just “waiting”; instead, use this season in life to do all the things you won’t be able to do when you are married with children.
Invest in yourself. Invest in others.
Advance your career. Go back to school. Pursue your dream. Go on that vacation.
Better yet, take that missions trip. Try things you’ve never tried before and take chances that you won’t be able to take when you’re married with children.
Don’t just “wait”. Instead, rest in the fact that God has the timetable for the events of your future life under control and focus on living today to the fullest.
Stop asking “When am I going to find a husband?” and ask “What does God want me to do today?”
“What dream is He dreaming that I can’t even see? What adventure am I missing while I’m wasting time wallowing and waiting?”
As a single sister who spent too many days of her life wallowing and waiting, I can guarantee you that if you choose, as I did, to begin developing these two attitudes in your life, you’ll spend less time asking “When” and more enjoying the live you’re leading.
Here’s what I’ve learned:
Even if you’re single---today it’s your turn.
It’s your turn for adventure, it’s your turn for fulfillment, and it’s your turn to enjoy your life and make a difference in the world around you.
What are you waiting for?