I’d been crying for two hours.
Sure, it might have been hormones. Maybe it was because I wasn’t feeling well. But the truth was that I’d been through a rough weekend that I was not only having trouble wrapping my head around, but deep inside of my heart it was triggering some of my darkest memories, my worst fears, and my deepest heartaches. Not knowing what else to do with all of the emotion, the result was two hours of ugly, gut-wrenching, sobbing until I was finally spent.
Then, through my exhaustion, these words went through my head:
“Nobody knows me like You
Put Your arms around me and bring me through
There’s many times I don’t know what to do
Though some know me well, still nobody knows me like you.”
It was the lyric to a very old Benny Hester song from the 1980’s (yeah, that’s going back a few years). Yet, in that moment, as this blast from the past infused my mind, I was reminded:
The Heavenly Father knew.
He understood---He got it.
Unlike others who offered simple answers to complicated questions, He understood EVERY aspect of the situation.
He knew that sometimes life doesn’t resemble 1 + 1=2. Sometimes it’s an algebraic equation with many variables.
He understood my fears---and where they were coming from.
Quietly, I was reminded that He alone was there through it all….
He was there through the abuse.
He was there for the scariest medical moments.
And He was there right beside me as my Mom collapsed into my arms and went to Heaven.
He, and He alone, knew where the deepest sobs were coming from and why I was reacting the way I was to the current situation.
Because we’d been through it all together, now in this painful moment, He was the One Who could heal, provide, love, and give me the strength to move on again…to trust again…to get back up and get back into life.
In that moment I was reminded of the words of Psalm 139:1-22
God, investigate my life; get all the facts firsthand.
I’m an open book to you;
even from a distance, you know what I’m thinking.
You know when I leave and when I get back;
I’m never out of your sight.
You know everything I’m going to say before I start the first sentence.
I look behind me and you’re there, then up ahead and you’re there, too—
your reassuring presence, coming and going.
This is too much, too wonderful—I can’t take it all in!
Is there anyplace I can go to avoid your Spirit?
to be out of your sight?
If I climb to the sky, you’re there!
If I go underground, you’re there!
If I flew on morning’s wings
to the far western horizon,
You’d find me in a minute—
you’re already there waiting!
Then I said to myself, “Oh, he even sees me in the dark!
At night I’m immersed in the light!”
It’s a fact: darkness isn’t dark to you;
night and day, darkness and light, they’re all the same to you.
Oh yes, you shaped me first inside, then out;
you formed me in my mother’s womb.
I thank you, High God—you’re breathtaking!
Body and soul, I am marvelously made!
I worship in adoration—what a creation!
You know me inside and out,
you know every bone in my body;
You know exactly how I was made, bit by bit,
how I was sculpted from nothing into something.
Like an open book, you watched me grow from conception to birth;
all the stages of my life were spread out before you,
The days of my life all prepared
before I’d even lived one day.
Your thoughts—how rare, how beautiful!
God, I’ll never comprehend them!
I couldn’t even begin to count them—
any more than I could count the sand of the sea.
This was the beginning of finding peace, finding comfort, and finding healing for me.
Today, I don’t know what you are facing….but God does.
He understands. He knows every part of you inside and out and He is right there beside you to help you through.
That is the beautiful thing about our Heavenly Father….He isn’t a God that is far away.
He doesn’t just want us to serve Him…He wants to have a relationship with us where He knows all about us and we derive all that we need from Him.
Today if you are facing a difficult time….even if you haven’t been sobbing for two whole hours---I encourage you to turn to Him.
Remember, He knows you better than anyone else.
He love you, He understands you, and He wants to help you through each and every obstacle and challenge that you face in life.
He is not far away….He is very near.
His arms are open wide saying, “Come to Me….let Me help you….let Me love you….let Me give you My peace, My rest, My comfort, and My direction. I know you better than anyone else. I am here to do life with You. Let’s walk through this together.”