Have you ever seen the movie How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days?
Okay, first of all let me say that I watched the cleaned up, language edited television version and fast forwarded through the scenes that were inappropriately sexual. With these precautions, it was a pretty funny movie.
If you haven’t seen it, here's the plot: Andy Anderson, a young female reporter is assigned to write an article about the top 10 things women do to drive men away.
Well this article (and a few that will follow) is my updated (can you believe this movie is 14 years old?) version for Christian women with no bad language or questionable scenes, but the same basic principle:
If you want to be the most unattractive version of yourself, do these things:
Here's #1. Always be a Debbie Downer. (The rest of my tips will come in the following weeks.)
What exactly does that mean? Well, if you want to be the most unattractive version of yourself possible, always, always, always be sad and depressed.
Always find a way to work what's wrong with you and your life into a conversation.
Always play the role of the victim who deserves a pity party.
Whenever there's a holiday or other people are celebrating, be sure to get all of the attention focused on you by being sad or depressed because you aren't experiencing the same joy or experiences. (Helpful hint: Crying or sulking alone in the corner will help with this step. So will making wistful vague posts on Facebook—that's a real attention-getter)
Finally, always make others feel guilty for what they have or for enjoying their lives. After all, why should they be happy when you aren't?
In every situation, be the wet blanket, the party pooper, and the emotional drain.
If you follow these steps, I promise that you will be the most unattractive version of yourself possible.
Or you could try another route. Following Philippians 2:8:
Celebrate God all day, every day. I mean, revel in him!
Make it as clear as you can to all you meet that you’re on their side, working with them and not against them. Help them see that the Master is about to arrive. He could show up any minute!
Don’t fret or worry.
Instead of worrying, pray. Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns.
Before you know it, a sense of God’s wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down. It’s wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the center of your life.
Now that’s a pretty drastic change!
Rather than always being sad and depressed, you can choose to celebrate every day with God. Just because you want to complain and feel sorry for yourself, doesn’t mean you have to do it.
Rather than always looking at the worst in every situation, choosing hope.
Rather than always being the bearer of bad news, you can choose to bring hope in each and every situation.
You can choose to trust God over worry.
And you can choose private prayer over public pity as an outlet for your pain and frustration.
You have options. You can:
Choose to celebrate when others are happy.
“Rejoice with those who rejoice” (Romans 12:15)
Instead of giving into the temptation to constantly complain, find something positive to say.
“Do everything without grumbling or arguing”, Philippians 2:8
You could try faking it until you make it and put on joy, happiness for another, and contentment.
You could at least give it a try.
Now yes, I understand that we all have times in life when our hearts are truly broken—when grief and loss have us in the depths of pain and despair. I've been there. (Oh, have I been there!)
But through those times I've learned two things:
#1. Sometimes you have to put your pain aside for the sake of others.
#2. You can't live in the depths of despair forever. Eventually, you have to decide that you are going to move on.
Here's a third thing: Sometimes moving in is hard, it hurts, but you have to force yourself to do it if you're going to heal.
Some of the most attractive people I know are those who have faced tragedy and heartache but chose healing and resilience. There testimony becomes an inspirational beacon of hope that causes people to gravitate toward them.
On the other hand, those who choose to wallow, play the victim and live their lives as a Constantly Sad Sally tend to eventually drive even the most compassionate kindhearted caregivers away.
Eventually people realize you don't want help or to improve, and sadly the garbage you refuse to deal with in your life becomes as unattractive and stinking as a can of week old garbage on a hot summer day. Ain't nobody want to come near it.
Ultimately, it's up to you. Do you want to be a light people are drawn to or a mess that people avoid?
You can be the most attractive version of yourself if you try—the Holy Spirit will help you if you really want Him to—— or you can choose to be the most unattractive version of yourself possible.
It's a choice only you can ultimately make.
Debbie Downer or daughter of the most high king?
Who will you be showing the world today?