The other day I was scrolling through Facebook when I saw a picture of a friend of mine holding her beautiful baby niece. Even though the picture was adorable, it was what she wrote that stayed in my mind. Above her post she wrote, “This is my purpose…with her.”
Immediately I thought, “Yes, she gets it!”
You see, my friend is a single woman with no children. And yet whenever I think of a woman who is thriving as a Christian single woman, she is one of the first people that comes to my mind.
Why? Well, not only is my friend thriving in her career and making a dynamic difference in people’s lives, but she has completely grasped the concept that her purpose is to thrive within her family unit. She realizes that a large part of her purpose in life is to love and serve her family---to be a daughter, a sister, a sister-in-law, and now an Aunt.
Honestly, I have never once heard my friend complain about being alone---because she isn’t alone. She is an active part of a family that she truly loves and enjoys.
Over the years, I’ve come to believe that this truth that my friend has mastered is one of the keys to living a complete, full, life as a Christian single woman:
Single doesn’t have to mean alone.
Just because you aren’t married with children doesn’t mean that you don’t have a family.
Even if you aren’t a wife and mother, you still have a purpose to fulfill with your family.
Again, this is a lesson that I learned early in my life as I spent almost a decade living with my family and helping my Mom and brother with their physical issues.
It’s a principle that I’m still living as I currently live, work, and travel alongside of my brother each day.
The truth is that I am single, but I am not alone because I choose to love the family God has given me.
My advice to you: On your journey to finding your purpose, start by identify the purpose God has given you as a member of your family.
Start by asking yourself:
Who are the members of my immediate family?
Then place your role into these sentences: I am called to be a ______________ and ______________ and ______________.
For me, it looks like this: “I am called to be a daughter and sister.”
A single Mom could add “mother” to that list.
My friend can add “Aunt”.
What titles can you add?? Perhaps granddaughter, grandmother, or cousin.
The point is to make a list of the people in your family and realize the role you play in their lives.
Then ask yourself, what steps can I take to fulfill my purpose in the lives of those God has given me?
Now let’s draw the circle a little wider:
Make a list of your friends.
Now your co-workers.
Then the other people who go to your church.
Finally, your neighbors.
Now ask yourself:
“Do I believe that my purpose is to make a difference in the lives of these people?”
“Have I ever thought about this before?”
“Am I fulfilling or ignoring this purpose in my life?”
“Do I need to make any changes to start fulfilling my purpose?”
Now these are some things to think about.
Have you taken hold of the truth that is filling my friend’s life with purpose?
As someone who is living this principle in her own life, I can promise you that it is life-changing when you realize that your purpose is to love the people in your life. It will keep you from being along and fill your life with purpose, fulfillment, and a tremendous amount of joy.
Of course, I know there are some of you who are saying, “Nice thought, ‘Des, very pie in the sky, but my family has issues…it’s not always easy to play a role in their lives.”
Well, first of all let me say that I completely understand because although I always had a great relationship with my Mom, my relationship with my Dad has always been difficult because of his choices. And yet, part of my life’s purpose is showing God’s love to my Dad and shining God’s light into His life.
Has this always been an easy purpose?
Still, it is part of my life’s calling and purpose. As I have done my best to fulfill this purpose (not always totally successfully, but I’ve tried, the Holy Spirit has been able to move in both his life and mine in ways that I don’t think would have happened if I’d have just cut and run.)
One lesson I’ve learned is that just because someone is difficult doesn’t mean you have no purpose in their lives---or they have none in yours. The truth is that family can be difficult, yet, out of great difficulties God can do great things.
So once again I say, consult the Holy Spirit, ask you what purpose He wants you to play in a difficult person’s life and then obey.
Love the difficult people; love the people you enjoy; and find your purpose in being a blessing to all of the people in your life.
You won’t regret it!