The other day a woman told a story about a wedding shower to which she wasn’t invited. Apparently, the people hosting the party were planning some inappropriate activities and games that they knew my friend would find objectionable. The party was being held by all Christian women AT A CHURCH. Still, rather than allowing my friend's commitment to Biblical standards to convict them of their sin, they chose to leave her name off of the list. As we talked about the story and our mutual “been-there-done-that”, I was thinking that my friend should actually see her lack of invitation as a compliment. She was left out because they knew that she would not compromise her beliefs just to fit in or because it was socially acceptable. Personally, I think her lack of invitation should be a badge of honor—-they knew from her day to day life that she honored God and His Word in every and all circumstances. Compare this to the woman who talks about how much she loves Jesus but posts pics on social media of a shower filled with inappropriate party favors of a very “adult” nature...or the Christian who goes to the strip club because it’s her close friends bachelorette party and she can’t hurt her feelings....or the single girl who spent a Friday night watching a movie about strippers with her girlfriends and then took her place on the worship team led on Sunday morning. Seriously ladies, what are you thinking? Just in case no one has told you before: These things are not okay. They are sin. Just because an activity is socially acceptable doesn’t mean that it is Biblically acceptable. According to the Bible we are to “Come out from among them and be separate”. (2 Corinthians 6:17) We aren’t supposed to blend in, but be a light in the dark world. (Matthew 5:16) There shouldn’t even be the hint of the worlds sexual sin found among us. (Ephesians 5:3) Romans 13:13-14 clearly says:
“Because we belong to the day, we must live decent lives for all to see. Don’t participate in the darkness of wild parties and drunkenness, or in sexual promiscuity and immoral living, or in quarreling and jealousy. Instead, clothe yourself with the presence of the Lord Jesus Christ. And don’t let yourself think about ways to indulge your evil desires.”
And there it is: a Scriptural command to be be girl who doesn’t get invited to the party. Now obviously, I’m not saying that we should be anti-social or so obnoxiously preachy that no one can stand to be around us. I simply believe that if we consistently conduct ourselves in a manner that says “I’m friendly, I’m fun, I love people, but I will kindly decline any activity that goes against Biblical standards,” we will eventually get a reputation as a woman who lives for Jesus in any and all situations. We’ll be who we are called to be as followers of Christ. Here’s one last thought: Just because it’s an “all-girls-night” (or day) doesn’t mean that it’s just girls in the room. If even one of you is a Christian than the Holy Spirit is also there. What would He think of the activities? The truth is that if He isn’t comfortable, than you shouldn’t be either. Instead, you, too, should be the girl who feels the conviction of the Holy Spirit and only participate in activities that He enjoys. Even if that means you don’t get invited to every party. Dare to be that girl!
Live in such a way that if someone spoke badly of you, no one would believe it.
Adessa Holden is an ordained minister with the Assemblies of God specializing in Women's Ministry. Together with her brother, Jamie, they manage 4One Ministries and travel the East Coast speaking, holding conferences, and producing Men's and Women's resources that provide practical Biblical teaching for everyday life.
When asked about herself, she'll tell you "I'm a women's minister, a sister, and a daughter. I love to laugh and spend time with people. My favorite things are chocolate, the ocean, sandals and white capris, anything purple, summertime and riding in the car listening to music. It is my absolute honor and privilege to serve Jesus and women through this ministry.