So this summer turned out a little differently than I expected.
Heading into the summer, I had one overriding goal (honestly, it wasn’t very spiritual). This was the year we were going to fix the cracks in our living room walls. I’m not sure why I was so determined to fix them this year—I mean, we’ve been living with them for over a decade. Yet, something inside of me resolved that this year the issue was going to be resolved.
Looking back, I now believe it was the Holy Spirit putting this project on my heart because He knew that this project would do more than just a home repair. Instead, it triggered all kinds of emotions and memories that pointed out areas in my heart that needed repaired. Like the cracks in my walls, I’d been living with these heartaches for a long time and mostly ignoring them. But this summer, the Holy Spirit decided I was going to continue Finding Healing and find freedom once and for all.
So here’s the story….
Like I said, it all started with a desire to repair the cracks in the walls. Of course, you can’t just fix a crack in the wall…you also have to paint over the cracks. Originally, my plan was to paint the wall the exact same color that they’d been for the past 13 years.
Then the lamps started to fall apart…and I started looking for the exact same lamps.
Are you starting to get the picture? With every decision I had to make, my intention was to keep everything exactly the way it had been for over a decade.
But then there was another side of me that really wanted to make a change. Too many mornings I’d walk into the room and just hate the way it looked. It would actually made me feel sad. The artwork that once represented hope that God would someday set us free from the trauma and abuse we were living with, now just served as a reminder of the pain.
I had a choice to make….and this choice was stirring up all kinds of things inside of my heart and mind. Eventually, it led me back to the same process that has helped me overcome so many heartaches in my life. Once again, I found myself applying the Biblical principles for healing that I’d learned as a child and now teach in our Finding Healing Curriculum. Once again, I found them revealing parts of my heart that needed to be repaired and untying knots that were keeping me from fully enjoying the life God has given me.
Once again I found myself having heart to hearts with Jesus asking, “Why do I want feel like I need to keep things exactly the same when I really do want a change?”
As the Holy Spirit revealed truth I once again found myself journaling, talking out my feelings with a friend and a counselor, uncovering memories I hadn’t thought about in years, and of course, once again, choosing to forgive God and those who caused the pain that was so deeply hidden in my heart.
As I’ve found so many times in my life, once again the Biblical principles for Finding Healing, helped me repair the damaged areas in my heart and help me move forward.
Today, I’m writing this blog in my newly painted living room. The cracks are repaired and the colors are bright and cheery. We’ve replaced the artwork that made me sad with pictures that Jamie and I took of new happy memories. And the lamps…we’ll I still haven’t figured that out….for now thank God it stays lighter at night.
Even more importantly, I’m sitting here thanking God for the work that He did in my heart. Because even though I didn’t see that it needed repaired, He did and He put me in a situation where I had to face some lingering issues of grief and guilt and anger. Now, looking back, I should have known these issues were there—-I mean, they were affecting more areas of my life that I recognized at the time. But like the cracks in my walls, I’d become so accustomed to their presence in my life that I didn’t even recognize there was a problem.
Through this process I’ve been reminded of several truths.
First, the Biblical principles for healing WORK!! If we are faithful to apply them to our lives, the Holy Spirit will use our obedience and diligence to uncover the hidden places in our hearts and set us free from every hurt, pain, and heartache that wants to hold us back from all God has for us.
I was also reminded that the process of “Finding Healing” is an ongoing process in our lives. For many of us who have gone through the “big” healing of dealing with the major trauma in our lives or spent a significant time in counseling dealing with our past, we can be tempted to think we’re “finished” or “done with that”. And yet, it was in Philippians 1:6, God’s work in our hearts is ongoing and continual. Even though it may not be as dramatic or intensive as what we’ve gone through in the past, we always need to be open to allowing the Holy Spirit to explore new areas in our hearts so that we can be completely free and keep growing into the women He has called us to be.
Finally, I’m reminded again that no matter where you are on your journey, whether you’re just starting to open the door toward finding your healing or if you’re an old pro at knowing when God is trying to dig up and set you free from something in your life, the same Biblical principles apply. Choosing to apply them to every situation in our lives is a choice that we will never regret. They are the gate you must pass through to in order to leave past and step into a beautiful place.
So that’s what’s been happening here this summer….I’ve been working on my house, but more importantly working on my heart.
With each question answered, each memory uncovered, and every truth discovered, I’ve been once again finding healing and freedom.
It wasn’t the summer I expected, but I sure am grateful that God’s plan was better than mine. I’m thankful that He continues to be a God Who saves, delivers, and HEALS even the areas that we don’t know are broken.
“Being confident of this, that He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 1:6).
To Begin Learning God's Principles for Finding Healing and Freedom, Read FINDING HEALING.....