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The Reality of Church Hurt

It was strange; as soon as I started researching the false teaching my parents heard when I was just a little girl to ensure my memories were correct, two types of videos immediately began popping up on my social media feeds. The first was a series of videos by young women promoting this lifestyle. (My immediate response was, "NOOOOOOO!!!!!" Please don't fall for these lies.)

The second type of video was about people who were abused by legalistic holiness false teachings. These were the ones that broke my heart.

Because their stories were real, they experienced genuine heartache and pain at the hands of many who claimed they were "God's people." The points they make in their videos are valid—what they were taught and experienced was utterly wrong.

What breaks my heart is that many of them believe that the only way to escape the lies and abuse of the false teachings was to break free from Christianity altogether. Rather than simply abandoning the false teachings and tearing down the stronghold in their lives to walk in freedom, they lump all Christians and Christian teachings together and abandon any remnant of faith. Others swing to the complete other side of the pendulum and believe the lies of progressive Christianity. Some even become activists warning people to stay away from the church or at least churches who believe that the Bible is the inerrant Word of God meant to be practically applied to our lives.

Every time I see one of their videos come across my feeds, my heart hurts for them. Often, I pray for them because I know I could have so easily been where they are.

And yet I am not.

I am not deconstructing. I am not walking away from God or His Word.

Instead, I believe the key to healing and freedom from false teaching and religious abuse is the power of the Holy Spirit and studying God's Word to find truth.

Today, if you've suffered the pain of church hurt, I encourage you not to continue suffering in your pain. Instead, run to your Heavenly Father, Who loves you, and allow Him to heal your heart.

Spend time in God's Word, reading and studying, and allow the Holy Spirit to disentangle the lies in your heart.

Don't throw away your faith.

Don't allow your pain and the evil, hurtful choices of people who don't accurately represent God, His Word, or His church to cripple you and keep you from experiencing all that God has for you.

Instead, run toward God and His Word and let them heal you.

It's what I did, and I have no regrets.

Adessa Holden is an ordained minister with the Assemblies of God specializing in Women's Ministry. Together with her brother, Jamie, they manage 4One Ministries and travel the East Coast speaking, holding conferences, and producing Men's and Women's resources that provide practical Biblical teaching for everyday life.

When asked about herself, she'll tell you "I'm a women's minister, a sister, and a daughter. I love to laugh and spend time with people. My favorite things are chocolate, the ocean, sandals and white capris, anything purple, summertime and riding in the car listening to music. It is my absolute honor and privilege to serve Jesus and women through this ministry."


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