Do you ever feel ordinary? Average? Like there’s nothing that sets you apart from ever other person on the planet?
Perhaps at times you feel less than ordinary and just plain insignificant.
I know there are definitely times when I’ve felt like this in life—times when I’ve really struggled with my significance and asked, “What is my place in this world? What is my purpose? Does anybody want me, does anybody love me, why was I put on this planet?”
I believe this is a common experience for woman. Personally, I have known a lot of women who had deep voids inside of their heart—mostly because they experienced abuse—physical, emotional, sexual and verbal---from their fathers, husbands and other men in their lives. The things that happened to them stuck to them like labels that listed everything wrong with them, the reasons why everything was their fault, and why they had no value or significance.
Because of the damage that this abuse and the labels that were put on them, each one tried to find their value or significance in people or things that made them feel loved and special for awhile, but ultimately, only left them empty.
And that’s the problem with trying to find our significance on our own—trying self-help methods to try to “fix ourselves” or find our significance. We find things that make us feel significant for a moment, but then when that moment passes, we feel insignificant or empty again. Ultimately the thing that we think will meet our needs can becomes an obsession—-we need more and more of it until it is controlling our lives and destroying us.
I’ve seen it over and over again.
Finding significance in appearances became eating disorders and eventually addictions to prescription drugs.
Finding significance in success or money became a constant quest for more and never actually enjoying anything—work or play.
Those who tried to find their significance in marriage or sex soon realized that no human being can fill the God-sized vacuum that is inside of their hearts. When the relationship couldn’t meet their needs each of them had to go back on the search for new ways to find their significance.
Because the truth is that nothing can fill the God-sized void that is in our hearts.
None of our temporary solutions can heal the issues and pain in our hearts, help us to overcome and find our purpose in life.
The only thing that can fill this need in your heart is a personal relationship with Jesus Christ and finding your significance in Him.
I first learned this truth from watching my Mom’s life and then from living it out in my own life.
My Mom was 29 years old when she made a commitment to Jesus. At that point in her life, my Mom was very unhappy because she had yet to find her own source of significance in life. She had a lot of pain in her heart from her past, and her marriage was in really bad shape. She didn’t know how to deal with these issues. She said she thought of suicide a lot, but she couldn’t do it because she didn’t know what would happen to her children. She was searching and finding no answers.
Then our next door neighbor invited her to church, and my Mom went forward for the altar call. I remember her telling me that the altar was packed with between 100-200 people, but the speaker picked her out of the crowd, came over and placed his hands on her face and said, “Do you want to become a Christian?”
She said that in that moment she felt like someone loved her and wanted her for the first time in her life.
She knew that God wanted her. If He wanted her, than she was going to be His for the rest of her life.
From that moment on, my Mom lived her life out of a sense of devotion and passionate love for God. Now that she knew that God wanted her and loved her, she had a purpose and a reason for living. She didn’t need to find empty things to find her significance because she knew she was loved, chosen, wanted, and significant to her Heavenly Father.
Having found her significance in Him, she didn’t have to look anywhere else—from that day forward until the day she went to be in Heaven, her life revolved around allowing God to fulfill His purposes and plans in her life. Even though her life remained very difficult, knowing that God loved her and her passionate love for Him, enabled her to not just survive life’s difficulty’s but actually thrive in them.
One of the last few days of my mom’s life happened to be her spiritual birthday—the anniversary of March 9. I still remember talking to her and watching her eyes shine like a woman in love as she talked about how much knowing that she was loved by God and that God wanted her had changed her life. No longer did she need to find her significance in her appearance, in her accomplishments, in pleasing people, or even in seeking love from my Dad who only offered her abuse. Instead, she had learned over 30 years of walking with Jesus that as long as He loved her—that was enough. He was worth everything and her significant place in life was found in her relationship with Him and loving and serving Him.
This is the first step in finding our significance: Each one of us needs to choose to have our own personal relationship with Jesus. When we truly understand that He loves us, we learn that it is His love that makes us significant.
In my own life, I’ve found the same thing to be true. It’s when I truly began to understand how deeply and passionately I was loved by God that my need to search for significance in other avenues began to fall away. After all, why continue searching when you find what you need?
How do you begin having a relationship with God?
It begins when you invite Him into your life, confess your sins, and accept Him as your Savior.
Then it continues as you daily walk with Him, talk with Him, live life with Him and begin to understand His tremendous love for you and the significant plan that He has for you life.
If you’ve never made that commitment than I’d like to invite you to make it now: Start by praying this prayer with me:
“Dear Heavenly Father,
I come to you today ready and willing to accept Your offer to enter into a relationship with Me. Because you know everything, you know all the different ways that I’ve tried to find my significance and You also know that I’ve basically come up empty. Today, I want to stop chasing and start understanding Your love. Please forgive me of all of my sins so that we can start a relationship today.
God, I need to know how much you love me. I need to understand the plan and purpose you have for my life. I need to see myself the way that you see me, and I need to find my significance in you. Please change my life just like you did for Adessa and her Mom. Help me to live the rest of my life as Your daughter for You.
In Jesus’ name. Amen.”