One of the biggest lies that I had to be delivered from was the concept that women are incomplete without a man.
Believe it or not, back in the late 70’s and early 80’s there was a false teaching in the church that distorted Genesis 2 to teach that a woman’s purpose in life was to serve as a helper to a man.
As a little girl growing up where this teaching was prevalent, I caught on quickly that:
---It was God’s will for all women to be married.
---A woman’s purpose was to serve God alongside of her husband.
---A woman who was not following this role was outside of God’s will.
---A woman was not “complete” or “completely fulfilling her destiny” unless she was married---preferably with children.
Conclusion: I was not a “complete”, whole, healthy, functional woman until I was validated by a man.
Enter Shame, Rejection, Feelings of Failure, Anger, and Heartache.
Even as God began healing my heart from the abuse of my past and I began understanding that I was loved and accepted by Him, deep inside there was still a strong sense that I was a “woman in waiting.”
I believed that I could not soar or come into my full potential until I found the right man who would marry me and complete me.
This was one of the first lies that God had to blow to smithereens and completely demolish in my life as He dealt with the issue of overcoming my shame of being single.
The first thing I had to realize was that the teachings of Bill Gothard and others like him that I grew up with were completely 100% false.
The truth is that we are not created for the purpose of being in a marriage relationship.
Each of us---men and women---are created for the purpose of being in a relationship with Jesus Christ.
This is the relationship that makes us whole, that gives us purpose, and that fulfills us.
Acts 17:28 says that it is in “Him that we live and move and have our being.”
It was only when I realized that my purpose on earth was not to serve a man but to serve Jesus; that my the source of my identity was not through a man’s validation but through God’s love, and that it was actually okay with God for me to be a single woman living for, loving, and serving Him, that I was able to stop waiting to soar and actually begin soaring.
Check out this Scripture from 1 Corinthians 1:7-9:
Just think—you don’t need a thing, you’ve got it all!
All God’s gifts are right in front of you as you wait expectantly for our Master Jesus to arrive on the scene for the Finale.
And not only that, but God himself is right alongside to keep you steady and on track until things are all wrapped up by Jesus.
God, who got you started in this spiritual adventure, shares with us the life of his Son and our Master Jesus.
He will never give up on you. Never forget that.
I seriously love that Scripture: You don’t need a thing---in Jesus Christ you have it all.
As a woman you do not need the validation of a man/husband for you to have a full, complete, life in Jesus---the truth is that when you have a personal, growing, thriving relationship with Jesus, you have it ALL.
Because of this, we don’t have to live like women who are waiting to be completed. In fact, going back to 1 Corinthians 7, Paul tells us NOT to spend our lives wanting to be somewhere else, but instead to live fully and wholeheartedly where Jesus has us today.
And don’t be wishing you were someplace else or with someone else.
Where you are right now is God’s place for you.
Live and obey and love and believe right there.
God, not your marital status, defines your life.
Don’t think I’m being harder on you than on the others. I give this same counsel in all the churches.
1 Corinthians 7:17
The truth is that being single does not make you a woman waiting for validation.
You are completely free to be who God has called you to be.
You are 100% Complete in Jesus.
That's a truth that will help you soar!