So here’s a question that a lot of single women who love Jesus and want to live pure lives that honor God and their sisters in Christ ask:
“How should I interact with married men on a daily basis?”
Let’s be honest---you can’t just avoid the other sex. It’s ridiculous to think you can.
Unless you join a convent, you’re going to interact with men at work, at church, in restaurants, on the streets, really in every part of life.
Personally, I’ve come to the conclusion that this is not something to be feared. The truth is that God created men and women to coexist. We’re meant to work together and complement each other in all areas of society.
Yet, because of our fallen sex-driven society, we need to be aware that we don’t put ourselves in situations where we are tempted to compromise or there is a suspicion of compromise.
Practically, how do we do it?
Well, I believe the first step is to be really honest with your own heart.
Develop a close, personal relationship with Jesus in which He is meeting the needs of your heart. The truth is that the closer you stay to Jesus and the more you find your purpose and identity in Him, the less likely you are to be searching for it in others.
Second, be very open to the conviction of the Holy Spirit.
If the Holy Spirit convicts you of inappropriate thoughts or contact with a gentlemen, don’t just brush it off. Be honest with yourself. Being self-aware of a situation goes a long way from keeping you out of bad situations.
Next, have an accountability partner.
I believe that every woman (married or single) should have at least one person in her life who can ask the really hard questions. Someone who can say, “You seem to be developing an interest here” or “Are you sure this action is appropriate?”
When it comes to living a pure and holy life---accountability is key.
Here’s another important part of accountability---be honest with them. Don’t try to hide things. Let them know the truth so that they can help you avoid even the appearance of impropriety.
Finally, look at all men through the eyes of Christ.
In 1 Timothy 5, Paul gives Timothy specific instructions for how he should interact with the other believers in the church:
“Treat younger men as brothers, older women as mothers, and younger women as sisters, with absolute purity.”
Following this Scripture, I have trained my mind to think of all men---especially my brothers in Christ---in this manner---treating older married men as if they were our fathers and younger married men as if they were our brothers.
It’s important to think of men as people not sexual objects. Remember, especially when dealing with married men that they belong to your sisters. Don’t hurt a sister---love them enough to respect their marriage and family.
So here’s my best advice for how to interact with the opposite sex in a godly manner:
---Keep your own heart pure
---Be accountable
---Don’t do things that would place a stumbling block in front of another person.
---Treat everyone with respect
---Remember in every situation that the Holy Spirit is in the room. (Because after all, He is.)
If you wouldn’t say something or do something at the foot of the cross or at the altar of your church, don’t do it anywhere.
If you wouldn’t want an interaction to be put on video all over the internet, don’t do it.
Live your life in such a way that if anyone said anything bad about you, no one would believe it. (1 Peter 2:12)
As you consistently live your life in a pure, upright, honest way it won’t matter if your interacting with men or women. You’ll just be living for Jesus.
