“If I like it, and Jesus likes it, that’s all that matters.”
When I was younger, my Dad used this phrase to express his disapproval whenever one of my clothing choices was too loud or colorful for his preference. Since my teenage years fell in the late eighties and early nineties, you can imagine, that happened quite a lot. (Google ‘Saved by the Bell' if you are too young to understand what I mean.)
I remember one outfit that I particularly loved. It was a bright yellow blouse with a matching white skirt with black and yellow polka dots all over it. I was so fashionable in the eighties. Whenever I wore it with my bright yellow plastic jewelry (again, an eighties’ specialty), I felt like I owned the world. At least until I’d run into my Dad. Then he’d give me a disapproving look and say those magic words: “If you like it, that’s all that matters.”
Of course, I knew that phrase meant: “You look ridiculous. Why can’t you be more demure, quiet, and conservative?” For years, these words were a source of pain for me. Eventually, they hurt so much, I’d stop him before they even came out. I’d make a joke mocking his response. I tried to pretend that I didn’t care, and his words had no effect on me, but inside, they did.
As I grew older, I started changing myself to receive not just my Dad’s approval, but also other people’s approval. Over time, I began tucking away the girl with the exuberant personality who wanted to be independent and stand out in a crowd, and replace her with someone who blended it. I wanted the approval of other people so badly that I started squashing my personality and turning into a chameleon—being whoever I needed to be to gain the approval of people around me.
Without even realizing it, my motto became, “If you like it, that’s all that matters.” Only I wasn’t happy, and God wasn’t pleased with the fact that I wasn’t being who He created me to be. I’m sad to say that this went on for far too many years in my life.
Thankfully, the Holy Spirit allowed some things to happen in my life that helped me find my way back to being myself. It started when He began taking me through a process of inner healing, where I discovered how the choices I made were a direct result of childhood and teenage pain and trauma. As I allowed Him to heal my past, He set me free to be myself in the present. He’s helped me learn to love the way God created me and showed me that the only approval I need in life is the approval of my Heavenly Father.
As I’m maturing, I’m learning to love the way God created me. More importantly, I’m learning that it really is only God’s approval that matters. When I attempt to twist God’s design to gain the approval of someone else, it is actually a form of idolatry as I’m putting their opinion above God’s. I never want to do this again.
Instead, I am determined to live my life embracing the truth that “If I like it and JESUS likes it, that really is all that matters.”
Today, I want to encourage you to begin embracing this truth in your own life.
Spend time alone with the Heavenly Father asking Him, “Are there areas of my life where I have let other people’s approval control me and prevent me from being who You created me to be?”
Ask Him to help you be who He designed you to be so that you can fulfill the purpose He has for your life.
Ask yourself: “How can I begin applying this lesson to my life today?”
Here are some Scriptures to ponder along the way:
“Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ.” (Galatians 1:10, NIV)
“For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.
My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.
Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.
How precious to me are your thoughts, God! How vast is the sum of them!
Were I to count them, they would outnumber the grains of sand— when I awake, I am still with you.” (Psalm 139:13-18, NIV)
“For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.” (Ephesians 2:10, NIV)
Adessa Holden is an ordained minister with the Assemblies of God specializing in Women's Ministry. Together with her brother, Jamie, they manage 4One Ministries and travel the East Coast speaking, holding conferences, and producing Men's and Women's resources that provide practical Biblical teaching for everyday life.
When asked about herself, she'll tell you "I'm a women's minister, a sister, and a daughter. I love to laugh and spend time with people. My favorite things are chocolate, the ocean, sandals and white capris, anything purple, summertime and riding in the car listening to music. It is my absolute honor and privilege to serve Jesus and women through this ministry."
